Attention, staffers:
1. Unless the needle on your patient's Well-O-Meter is closer to "going home" than "needs a morgue pack", do not tell his family that he's doing much better.
2. There are multiple bake sales and events on our campus today. You will not be able to go because your staff is overburdened and only two out of eight of you will be able to sit during your designated lunch periods, as the other six of you opted to walk 20 of your 30 minutes to and from the cafeteria; however, it was felt that staff morale might improve, knowing how diverse life without you is.
3. Overtime will always be approved, even if you don't think you want it. Please speak directly with your manager; otherwise, Staffing will be happy to contact you for opportunities as they arise---frequently.
4. Our administration has decided to abort beta testing of any new technology we plan to implement over the next five years. Customer satisfaction is a must; after careful consideration, it has been decided that regardless of how poorly new systems initially work, that our clients deserve to have bleeding-edge technology at their nurses' fingertips. "Bugs" can be corrected as the staff integrates barely functional software into their workflow, thereby making it more effective in real time. We will be working closely with our IT department; they will be as prepared as we are, since they are receiving notice of this change upon the release of this memo.
Happy Holidays! Thanks for all that you do, even though you're going to have to do even more next year.
Best,
Administration
